“Rest easy, real mothers. The very fact that you worry about being a good mom means that you already are one.” ― Jodi Picoult
Mom guilt feels like you've committed a mistake that has caused injury to your children regardless of whether it's real or not. It can also result from not being able to fulfil the requirements of being a perfect mom. Mamas experience guilt as moms because we've been taught to believe we should naturally be mothers.
This leaves an extremely limited margin for error, isn't it? However, the truth is that raising children can be challenging, and there's no guideline on how to accomplish it flawlessly.
Working moms are striving to balance having a job they like or need and being the mother they imagined. Letting the guilt go should be first on the to-do list. It can drain your energy, disrupt sleep, alter your mood, and be out of the way of being present.
Here are some suggestions that SheJobs experts have suggested to help you get to rid yourself of guilt now.
Let go off guilt, to begin with, a promise to not beat yourself up for your choices and the circumstances. A little guilt can turn into shame, and it can be emotional to always believe that you're a bad mother, employee, or even a bad friend. Instead, consider the motivations for your decisions. When you ask yourself, "I feel bad about the decision I made because __", change that thought to "I did that because _____" and then move on.
Keep in mind that guilt is linked to compassion. The feeling of guilt is a sign that you care, have compassion, and are concerned for the people around you. Being free of guilt doesn't mean you're not a caring or compassionate mother. It is a sign that the compassion that lies behind the guilt will be revealed.
SheJobs suggests that compassion's power can inspire you to be more involved in your job and discover the joy of being a mother instead of feeling trapped.
For example, when family time is very top of the agenda but you're not sure if you're getting enough, you can get rid of guilt by finding methods to make time for your loved ones. Learn to say "no" to commitments that aren't necessary. Engage your children in the tasks that you are already doing, like taking care of chores, making food, or even taking your dog out for a walk. You can also plan your weekends by dividing time to the family instead of doing errands. This may mean making clear the boundaries in other areas in your daily life.
Ask for help
One of the most difficult tasks that women often have to do is ask for assistance. Instead of asking for help the working mom could be causing stress by trying to handle everything on her own -- only to realize that it's simply impossible. The process of asking for help requires practice; however, once you have taken an uneasy step of doing this, people around you will begin doing the same.
Ask for help from your people you know, your personal friends or parents of your children who are friends of yours and your own parents, your family members and the after-school programs at the school, and your carpool parents. Sooner or later nobody will be embarrassed to ask, and it's an open and reciprocal relationship where everyone gains.
Determine the causes of guilt
SheJobs expert suggests that understanding the root cause of guilt will help you identify aspects of your life that require focus. Sometimes the root of the problem is within yourself, due to the expectations that you've placed on yourself to meet an exact standard.
Sometimes, the source is external to us, such as social media or your family members who expect certain behaviours from mothers. Choose the most important source and determine your core values as a parent.
Keep in mind who you are above motherhood
SheJobs expert claims it is very easy to lose yourself when you are busy taking care of your children. Take time every day to pursue activities that you really like. Find old interests or something you've always been interested in. This could mean taking an online class or attending a gathering or inviting a person to join you in the yoga class.
This can aid in getting your feet wet exploring your interests, but it's also an ideal way to connect with others who are adults. You'll be grateful after a while when your children begin to depend upon you more and less.
Let the haters go
Make a conscious effort to determine the people who are bringing your down or judging you are people who deserve to sit at the table. As per SheJobs, it can be difficult to go against it, but there are many women who would benefit from a different perspective, especially when it comes to mom guilt.
Pay attention to Your children and your intuition
Spend time learning what your intuition is telling you and, more importantly, what your kids are saying and feeling. The process of raising children requires some time to reflect, but getting comments from your children could aid in confirming your feelings, or provide facts that could encourage you to change your behaviour.
SheJobs suggests instead of putting more pressure on yourself, keep in mind the fundamentals. Be aware of the bond you maintain with your children just by having the ability to say "good enough."
In a nutshell, if you can manage your personal feelings more effectively, you'll be less likely to act in ways that can lead to guilt. Remember that you're an excellent mom and that no baby is perfect. Enjoy your child. A mother who is content will have a baby who is happy!